So, let me tell you a story about a little boy who was born into a family with 2 parents and 3 siblings. The parents were firm – one could almost say stern. Money wasn’t in great supply but there was always food on the table, clothes to be worn – even if they could be hand-me-downs – and order and stability ruled.
Effort – and money – were put into getting a good education and there was support and help on hand with any academic problems, both parents were well educated. No real problems with school either, bullying wasn’t really an issue
So far, so normal one might say.
There was corporal punishment, sure. Mostly slaps across the hand with a wooden spoon but for occasional serious offences, the use of a stair rod on the bare behind.
Utterly unacceptable in most households these days – but then? Probably not far from the norm.
But how does this picture look if the background was filled in by emotional absence? If it was difficult for the boy to get attention and when that attention came it could sometimes take distressing form such as being photographed in a state of complete distress?
How about a child who has no real sense of support? Self reliance was the family watchword – one must always manage on ones own. If doing without and “managing” were the catch phrases of the day? To the extent that if this boy faced an unhappy situation there was no-one to turn to and every effort to gain attention and support was brushed aside and ignored. Is this still a normal childhood?
At what point does the pivot turn?
At what point could one say that such a childhood became abusive? In the face of real pain and abject miseryin the growing up of some, does this stand up to scrutiny as mistreatment or even cruelty? And why is it that some children can survive the most appalling circumstances and survive and even thrive whilst some who suffer the most minor infractions descend into a perpetual hell?
Something I am sure that professionals with many decades of experience are still pondering over.
Recent Comments